A bizarre mix of brown bear, red deer, bad dress sense and poor dental hygiene mean the Bufoone has to try harder to make friends that the average garden creature. Well-read, cultured, fluent in 245 languages and an excellent stand up comedian, the Bufoone is easy to know and a likeable companion. There is no end to his talents, which can become tiresome but his excellent baking skills mean his constant showing off can be overlooked if you like cake. Don't, under any circumstances, tie a green balloon and a blue balloon to his left antler as this  is the Bufoone equivalent of an engagement ring and breaking it off will be upsetting. You don't want to end up married to a Bufoone, trust me. 

Outrageously self important but ultimately pointless garden night creature. A year in the life of a Draboone lasts for a mere 24 hours which means it celebrates its Birthday every day. This makes them very expensive and annoying pets. Look out of your window at 3.47am and you might just see a Draboone pleading for a present. They eat cake and egg mayonnaise sandwiches on white sliced bread. This one is 11042 today which makes him about 33 but you should probably check that on the calculator. 

Don't be fooled by the ballet shoes. Peliboones dislike dancing, classical music and all forms of theatre. They would rather play board games and cards whilst eating chocolate covered peanuts. The shoes are actually used to enable stealthy hunting as the Peliboone likes to sneak up on its dinner unannounced. Someone should tell them that choccy nut snacks can't hear them anyway. Since 1905 they have been banned from flying but will occasionally take to the skies on a Wednesday in March if it's raining. No one knows why but if you catch one you could ask them for me.

The awful tuneless singing and ham-fisted guitar playing make the Guaroone one of the most unwelcome of garden night creatures. On the plus side they leave no mess and, unlike some, take all their specialist picnicking and barbecuing equipment with them in the morning. Although easily domesticated and assimilated into family life, at over 9ft tall, 23 stone and prone to telling the same story over and over and over again, they can test even the most patient Guaroone fancier if acquired as a pet. Proceed with caution.